#And I also don't like how restrictive the formatting is

[ashe-hallow]

Anyway ik I said I was gonna come back and make use of this blog, but I ended up making a neocities site and prefer it to updating this blog

[vyzz-undercover]

pspspsps dinner time everyone

[cato/f!ambassador]

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5)

(5,700ish words) (im cooked)

CONTENT WARNINGS:

•slight dubcon [again]

•hints of size kink

•intercourse [M/F]

•discussions of virginity

•vague breathplay

•even more negligible aftercare

•degrading language

•mild possessive behaviour

•tumblr's pisspoor formatting as per last time

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im once again doing a free magic show here and pulling a rabbit (this fic) out my ass. so, without further a-do the tagging... @kit-williams, @passionofthesith, @pluvio-tea, @the-raven-lady, @bispecsual, @egrets-not-regrets, @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan, @lemon-russ. let me know if anyone else wanna be tagged if i do a part three HAHAHAHHAHA i might double down on the comedy-of-errors and have Guilliman get involved. Not like a three-way with this particular fic, even if I'd love to slut papa smurf out. There's always another time and another chance to sexualise an old man :3

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Cato finds you relatively easily.

Truthfully, you make no actual sport of it. But he's never going to pass up a cheap bit of entertainment at your expense.

At this time of the ship's cycle you're most likely to be in the east wing, pointedly the lower libraries. He knows this. He won't confess why or how he knows, though—so, fuck off.

You're lazy and predictable. To say nothing of the fact you're far too comfortable scuttling about his Father's vessel. If a hypothetical assassin ever could get onto the ship without being stomped into paste by him immediately, they'd have no problems tracking you down. You may as well be a sevitor running on rails for all your movements stay the same.

He notes you're not on the first level.

Nor the second.

You are on the third, in the leftmost quadrant.

In the restricted reading area.

You do have clearance—but the fact still irks him. Typically, this was for his more decorated brothers to catalogue Xenos. Typically, one needed to be accompanied to even access this level.

But oh, no—no, you're allowed.

You're allowed because you are a damnable leach of a woman. And also the bane of his existence, did he mention that? And you're—you're—tucked up in secure side-room, reading on a data-slate; half-asleep in a little blue robe and looking the pict of adorable sloth.

You don't notice him immediately.

Clearly too absorbed in your gerrymandering-for-servitors cheat-sheet.

And that annoys him even more.

Because, are you really that obtuse? So unassailable in your own mind that you're this blatantly fucking oblivious? He's an Astartes, damn it. Sure, he's in casual rest attire instead of clanking plate—but he's a large, two-and-a-bit meter tall trans-human war-machine standing in the doorway—and you haven't even noticed him. Ignorant like some little rodent chewing away at crumbs in it's hovel.

His Father's got a vermin problem on board, and the mice are stupid and bold and literate... along with rather cozy, apparently.

A finely woven navy throw is swaddled around you where you're lying on the chaise lounge. And the sight of you bundled up inspires a vivid déjà-vu of the last time you were alone with him with little more than a blanket over you.

Cato hesitates for a heartbeat, swallows down the sudden lump in his throat and sets his jaw.

He steps into the room and waves a hand over the laser-pad locking mechanism.

There's a fractional second in which you become cognisant to the sound of the shutter door closing and where you actively notice him.

Then there's a shrill scream as if you've pinched a nerve.

The data-slate goes flying, pelted at his head. But it hits the shutter door and clatters to the floor, far-off any hint of a good mark.

Useless woman.

Realising it's him a moment later, you heave out a racketing sigh.

"Throne of Terra, Ca���" you start, and it sounds like you're going to say his first name before you rightly correct yourself and say, "C-Commander, you scared me half to death."

He immediately sets about accosting you, "Have you been sitting here with the door open this whole time?"

"No," you nip out.

"You are aware that I can tell when you're lying?"

"I'm certain you can," your tone flattens in a way he's only ever heard you talk to particularly sleazy representatives with. It's not an honest exchange, it's double-speak. It's mocking. You're mocking him.

He grits his teeth.

You've grown more open in your defiance towards him as of late, certainly not because of any revelation or reason and it rubs him in a dangerous, new way. He's not about to let it slide, either.

"Is that so?" His words are sharp and accusative and he hopes—he hopes he'll get the delight of watching you cower like you usually do when confronted by him. "Have you been lying to me often, then?"

Half his hopes come true. You look away nervously and mumble something almost inaudibly, and he'd not have noticed if not for his far superior hearing.

It was, "...maybe," and all Cato can help but do being himself, is detonate.

"And what have you been deceiving me of, you scheming little whore?" He snarls, fuming—a dozen crimes and sins crowding his mind you might be tried for. Maybe he's been far too lenient to the actual reality of your evil. Finally, validation to corroborate his deviation—maybe you'll admit you're some Slanneshi fleshchanger, and that you intended to have burrowed so deep in his mind.

Nonetheless, you're nowhere near even close to fast enough to defend yourself. But it's not like he gives you the chance.

He's crossed the distance with a practiced speed. And quicker than you can even yelp, you are pinned to the lounge—a shackle in the form of his fist around your smaller throat.

The pressure is a limp handshake by his standards. You're not really choking. Just stifled slightly for good measure.

Still, it'd be a mere flex to break your neck. He could snap you like a stylus with what was to him, ultimately, nothing but a simple twitch of his fingers. And he would think more about the blatant contrasts between you both much longer if he wasn't far too distracted by the fact you even struggle prettily wantonly. Big eyes wide and glossy with animal panic. Involuntary tears gather at the corners as you register what's going on at last. The mad temptation to lick them if they so much as dare trail down your cheeks begins eating at him.

Some rational part of his rational mind reminds him he can't get the truth out of you when he's vaguely throttling you, though—and he lets you go begrudgingly. Instead opting for looming over you as you roll sidelong on the couch, breathing fast.

He crouches down to your level and grumbles, still absorbed in his raging.

"Speak," he barks, and pointedly grabs you by the chin.

"I–I hadn't actually—" you start, breathless as you mumble. "Actually, uh, laid with anyone, even though I nodded I sort of... had."

He's staggered at the statement, "...that's it?"

A vague lie of omission, but it's not the great corruption he sought to root out.

Then he actually thinks about what you've just admitted.

Like fog banished under a rising sun, his anger at the thought of treachery immediately dissipates into blistering revelation.

"Hold on, you..." Cato starts, baffled and completely knocked for a six, meeting your gaze slowly—genuinely stunned as he pulls his hand back fully. "I... I was the first?"

You look away cursorily, face reddening not only with your previous strains, but with embarrassment.

Now, that was the reaction of a guilty conscience.

Cato doesn't know what to do with the information. Nor does he really know what he feels.

He'd been the first. He feels like he's won something over his brothers. Therefore, fuck the lot of them—and fuck Titus, specifically. Even if he's not sure why. He truly couldn't believe it. There's success, sure—but then there's taking the laurels: whole and absolute. And this... this is exactly that. But oh, for some apparently vestal thing, you'd let him bully down to the hilt in your tight cunt; whining like a whore when he spilled himself inside you. Throne, it was almost suffocating to think back on it now. So willing to have your maidenhead taken, nevermind the fact you weren't the only one who'd had a new experience that day. But you didn't need to know that.

"Another notch to my mantel of victories then," he ultimately decides is the best thing to say, gloating to himself.

"Unbelievable," you sigh softly as you shakily sit yourself up.

But there's the problem again. The one tangible, constant problem with having laid you. It's made you mouthy. He only ever glimpsed your boldness when you interacted with other baselines in the past. You never sassed Astartes, or at least, he's never seen you do it. But now that stubbornness and unwillingness to back down in a political forum is on full display heedless of situation. As if you've suddenly become one of the auto-felating Imperial Fists—or any of Dorn's insufferable ball-busting scions, really. Worst of all, it's only managed to somehow make him even more enthralled annoyed with you than usual. You're still too good at quashing your anger, hard as it is to rouse. But he loves loathes that you bite the lure instead of shying off now.

"To think that I was the first—is your entire professional role not centred around charm? Would no one else have you with that rotten attitude you've been hiding?" he says, knowing he's being nasty, knowing he's twisting the knife; and absolutely praying for you to fall for it.

Cato watches a rainbow of emotions pass over your features, before you settle on one that makes you look like you ate something sour. He's hit a weak spot. But the sentiment holds true. His Primarch thinks you the best and brightest to sway planets? You couldn't even seduce some daft, drunken aristocratic fool to fuck you.

You, the prettiest baseline he's ever seen.

...maybe Guilliman is right in saying the Imperium has rolled belly-up with bloat.

"That's not—that's not why and you know it," you open your mouth and jumble your words briefly before getting out, "Do you have any idea how hard it is to find someone who won't have a panic attack because of the several Astartes that insist on following you around?" You continue, raving and flustered, "Do you think anyone would get near me with you—or—or... maybe Captain Acheran, or the good Chaplain, let's say, breathing over my shoulder?"

"You should be grateful any of us waste our time babysitting you," Cato oafishly shoots back like a petulant child, brows furrowing, "You should be thanking me for doing the brunt of it."

Your nose scrunches up, "Pardon me, Commander, it's surely entirely my fault that we are both at the whims of our Lord Primarch."

He pauses.

Something about this interaction isn't stirring his temper like it should.

He should be absolutely livid with anger, or at the very least blowing your eardrums out with a 'shut the fuck up,' at full Astartesian line-command volume.

Yes, he should be seething, and yet he's not. To his surprise, he's actually feeling more enthused than anything.

This feels... exciting, almost.

"You've only grown the backbone to talk back to me because I fucked one into you," he remarks sharply in reply.

You sputter, and go red, robbed of your words.

"Or maybe this is mere performance," He adds with a sneer, tipping his chin up proudly.

You roll your eyes and let out a dramatic puff of air, "Y-You're such a..." you start, but your voice tapers off—and you look away, pouting.

"I'm a... what?" He taunts, leaning close.

You grumble, apparently feeling brave again; meeting his gaze and puffing yourself up.

"You're a bully," you hiss, clearly upset but undeniably frazzled enough to be somewhat ranting again as you add, "A bully w-who's so disgustingly egotistical you've convinced yourself you're some great conqueror or... something... j-just for having been in me, as if I've never put anything in myself before."

Oh, but wait, Cato likes the idea of that. He likes it so much he completely forgets to acknowledge the insults in your statement prior. He likes the idea of you suffering like he had been—alone, yearning—aching for something you didn't know the dizzying reality of. He can imagine you smothering your sounds, those blessed whines he's got memorised, into a pillow in that cushy little quarters of yours, squirming on your meagre fingers, or maybe cold silicon. You didn't need that lesser imitation now. Cato'd gladly fill that role. He'd gladly fill that hole, too.

Nonetheless, he immediately wonders who you were getting off thinking about.

He'd streak the length of the ship for it to've been him you'd been fucking yourself over.

"Who were you thinking of?"

You blink at the completely offhanded question, then start sputtering, stalling.

"What? I-I—" you stammer, "That's not important or relevant—I just... did it, it's—"

"Keep lying and see where it gets you," He cuts in, raking you with an aggravated frown, and oh, excellent, you're starting to relearn he's not fond of your half-truthing, finally.

You duck your head a little, cringing under his gaze, trying to scoot yourself backwards. But there's nowhere to go.

Cato realises belatedly that in the middle of your antics, the sleeve of your robe has started to fall from your shoulder. His brain short-circuits momentarily with the sheer amount of air that floods his head. Your warm, soft skin on display just for him. He didn't get to see all of you last time. He felt a good portion of you, yes—but he didn't get the chance to admire acknowledge the whole vista. Not because he was too desperate to rut against to try. Or because he was probably going to swoon like a fool if he did. Shut up, he's no coward. Afterall, his hands had been close to your chest, but now—now he can actually look.

He's going to absolutely ruin that lovely canvas you've given him.

"Nobody," you say softly.

"Groxshit," he snaps.

"Fine—" You swallow and start scrambling for a response, "Malum C-Caedo."

Cato genuinely cannot help but bark a laugh at that, "Spare me, you haven't even met the man, moron—you're only saying that because your most recent reading was on his last briefing," he rolls his eyes. "You forgot I was there with Guilliman when you were given it."

You look at him like a cornered little mouse, and finally—finally, your sleeve falls just enough that he's given a perfect view of one of your tits.

"You already..." you grumble softly. "You already know who, then, so I shouldn't even have to dignify this."

"It's me, isn't it?" He asks darkly, and while he tries to sound haughty, the fact he's thrilled by both the notion and the sight of your partial nudity ends up warping his tone into a vaguely manic chuff.

You glance aside and stammer loudly, "N-No."

No, you say—but he hears your little heart flutter. And sees your pupils dilate.

"I hope you're aware you can't lie to save your life," Cato drawls.

Your gaze snaps back to his, and for a brief second, your expression is flushed with embarrassment; until it changes to a sour little scowl.

"I'm not a bad liar, you're just an Astartes—" you start furiously, but check your flustered anger.

Cato smirks.

It's not a completely clean victory, but it's good.

It means his own lusting madness is at least reciprocally vindicated.

And at that realisation, Cato's impulse control violently loses balance; and he's painfully aware he cannot, for the life of him, contain the hungered almost purr-like sound that crawls up his throat.

You go back to looking transfixed at that, and he pauses.

There's something... pulling him in even more than before. He feels as if he's taken the bait, and the hook, and the line and sinker—hell, he's taken a good bit of the rod, too. Everything's a little too heated, and he's got an innate, intuitive feeling you're just as wound up as he is—wait. He breathes in deep and slow, and scents the air. Throne, he may as well have been cold-clocked at the temple by a Dreadnaut for all the innate information he suddenly receives. You're quite frankly drenched in want. You're getting off on this. Smothering him in a dizzying biological chant of hormones that scream—fuck me, fuck me, fuck me.

He leans close, and puts a hand on the arm-rest; the other palm slowly moving towards your chest.

Your eyes follow it—but you voice no complaints nor rejections.

Justified now, he's ecstatic. And your skin is as perfect to the touch as he remembers.

His hand looks huge compared to the breast cupped in it, idly toying with the consistency of the flesh in his grasp. It's much softer and malleable than he thought it'd be. Almost like a water-skin. Thumb depressing your right nipple, before drawing a thoughtless circle.

You sigh lightly and relax a bit, and Cato takes that as another open invitation.

He uses the same hand to tug away the fabric from your other shoulder.

Quick as anything, he's practically stuffing his face against you without any real warning, ignoring your flinch at his haste. Cato's letting the urges he'd withheld in that wretched shack out. And it's so worth the wait. He groans, licks a fat band over your left breast, and worries at the perked little bud with his teeth until you're squirming; only to drag his attention up to nip at your fragile throat.

You're breathing hard, and you open your mouth as if about to speak—but ever spiteful, Cato rewards your attempt with the drag of his tongue and the press of his teeth; and that promptly shuts you up. The faint salt on your skin isn't half bad of a thing either, honestly. He rather likes it. It tastes like how you smell—and he's absolutely luxuriating in it. It makes it all the easier to map your chest from the curve of your breast to your collarbones, garnishing you with eager drags of his tongue and mouth-wrought bruises.

And now you're glorious. The marks on your skin are vivid—he's guaranteed you won't be wearing anything showy for a good while. No lovely vile plunging necklines for you to display to bastard dignitaries. Not unless you want to explain why they're Cato Sicarius sized. They'll also be a good reminder to you of exactly who's superior.

You're still too dazed by his efforts to realise the extent of his actions, but he knows exactly how hot and bothered it's made you. That honeyed reek of arousal is driving him insane.

Urged on, he digs a hand down and around your back and drags you off the lounge. Manoeuvring to turn so his back rests against the lip of the lounge, nigh dumping you before him on the rug.

"W-Why...?" You blink, stunned for a second before righting yourself and meeting his eyes. Cato's sat himself cross-legged, before letting them unfold, one tenting and the other splaying out.

"I did all the work last time," he starts impatiently, and leans up to grab you by the forearm; bringing your hand close close to the cradle of his hips, "Now it's your turn to do something for once."

...Cato's not sure you're actually listening, because he could've bet his helm you'd've become irate at that statement if you were. That, and you're glaring between his thighs.

Ironically, he also almost instantaneously finds he doesn't really care to continue the train of thought. Not when you trace the engorged bulge of him through the folds of his tunic. Groping at the base, before smoothing your palm to the rounded tip.

There's no accursed buttons between him and the open this time, thankfully—and that means he can simply tug aside the folds of his layered tunic and bare himself from the belly down.

His cock lays fat and heavy with blood, smearing precum as it moves from his navel to leftward on his hip when he straightens up.

You're staring.

He scoffs at your apprehension and says, "Alternatively, perhaps you can—"

A soft, "Shhh," leaves you.

He snorts like a big, angry stock horse, brow raised. No baseline, regardless of rank, would dare treat Cato like this; none would dare even think to treat to him like this. Except you now, apparently. You forget your station, your place. Making demands of an Astartes is nowhere near your clearance. Your best option is to implore, not command. Yours is to nod your pretty thick head and smile your fair rotten little smile and obey your betters.

"Did—did you just shush me, woman?" Cato's nigh instantly consumed by a rush of anger at the sheer audacity, sneering. "In what reality do you think you've any right to shush me? I'm Commander of the Victrix Honor Guard, Grand Duke of Talassar and High Suzerain of—"

Of... of something.

Suddenly your insolence is inconsequential to him. All that matters is the smooth glide of your dainty hand on his cock, and the sight of your thumb and pointer being unable to wrap around and meet given how thick he is.

You look up at him slowly for a second, before your focus returns to apparently sussing out how best to saddle him. It's a timid gesture, like you're anticipating overstepping—you're cautious.

He's about to remind you of the fact you've taken him before, so Cato's proven he fits and all this coyness of yours is arbitrary. But he guesses the point is moot when you're suddenly already stradling his hips.

With one small hand finding a place on his stomach, and the other holding his cock straight beneath the obscurity of your garbs, he feels you lower yourself enough to make contact; testing before offering a little more urgency.

With an agonisingly careful roll of your pelvis, the head of his cock catches against the soft ring of muscle at your entrance for a second.

He grumbles despite himself.

He can't watch his cock sink into you like last time thanks to the curtain of your robe, but at least he can certainly feel every millimeter of it happening.

Tight heat feels like a death shroud over his mind as he draws a blank on anything else.

And finally—finally he's stuffed down to the hilt—and oh, he's filled you to your end just like the last time. Throne, he's drunk off the spongy heat the thick head of cock is squared right up against.

This position's made your cunt just that bit shorter inside thanks to gravity.

You whimper, clearly trying desperately not to start shaking.

You start shaking anyways.

He's fascinated by the small, restless palms now pressed flat and trying to find a counterpoint on his broad, tunic'd chest. Soft and un-calloused aside from the small bump of a pen's rest on your writing hand. Everything about you is warm and soft. Inside and out, you're all his.

He exhales harshly through his nose and blinks, gaze shifting from your hands to your tits, then to your face.

You wear an even more flushed expression now, overwhelmed, with all your focus on him.

Right where it always should be.

"Hurry up," he grunts sharply.

You swallow hard, and promptly drop your gaze.

You, surprisingly, manage to lift yourself up despite your theatrics. And, little by little, he watches you strain up until just the tip of him is still buried in you.

Angling yourself, you keen, carefully sinking back down on his cock and reeling at the stretch again as you settle, ass meeting his dense quads with a soft plomf.

He can see you biting back a moan, pointless as the act is.

"Keep going," Cato grits out, "I didn't tell you to stop."

You frown halfheartedly, and your insides clench around him despite yourself.

You start a slow rhythm, the noise of colliding skin on skin echoes in his ears. Slick friction, and fucked-out, half-stifled cries. Your pace quickening. Riding him. Using him at your own leisure, like the precious wretched little thing you are. You repeat the same dizzying motion again and again, and again—rising and sinking—up, down, up, down; until it's clear you've found an angle that hits something just right, sending you over the edge with a rattling gasp.

A low groan crawls up the back of Cato's throat and slips free without restraint.

He's barely able to cope through the tight squeeze of your orgasm around his cock; but he steels himself, winning the fight to not spill in you right then and there at that. No small thanks to the furious couple hours he'd spent earlier in the simulated night cycle furiously attending his urges.

His calloused mitt can hardly compete with the nigh painfully silken clench of you. And the view—Throne, to simply watch is a level of spectacle he can't even put into words. It's nothing short of hypnotic seeing your face soften with fucked-out delight—he can't believe he'd ever thought it was good the first time around when he hadn't even seen you meet your end.

You stop suddenly, seated to the hilt, trembling and oversensitive—grinding back and forth, nails digging into his pectorals through his tunic.

"Just... n-need t'catch my breath..." You whimper, and that debauched tone wreaks havoc through his mind. An unceasing urge to pound you to tears overtaking what little sense he has left. It's the ravenous fact that you, the little parchment-pushing temptress, are all tuckered out from cumming on him so quickly. He's preening at the fact he feels that good to you—oh, he's going to send you limping back to your quarters.

He wants to watch you break.

"You lazy little cunt, you can't do a thing right, can you?" Cato groans, your thighs twitching as he lifts you by the hips and makes you sink back down.

He gets the treat of seeing your eyes swim back in your skull, dumb with sensation.

Lulled by the reedy, oversexed moans slipping from you with each motion; and he can't help but start thrusting up, matching pace.

"Hardly even four and a half minutes—and you're a mess, absolutely useless." He heaves, dropping you to full-hilt for a second to manoeuvre you better. You're nigh but a gasping dead-weight, delirious.

If you're going to act the entitled bitch, he'll screw you into something alike submission. Which is exactly why he's then pulling out, shoving you against the lounge on your back; and moving your thighs to bracket his hips as he half kneels on the rug. Just to slide himself back inside, balls-deep in willing flesh. The only dignity he affords you then is the space to wrap your arms around and behind his shoulders. Which you rightly do without demand.

Hold on, was the unspoken order.

Then he's fucking you into the lounge like his life depends on it. He's glad to notice it's bolted down, but the damned thing creaks—nonetheless, he can barely even hear it over the perfect sounds you're making.

Rolling his bottom lip between his teeth, barely holding back the noises that choke his own gullet.

"You're so damn lucky you're a nice tight hole," he rasps harshly, "That's all you're good for, hm? For me to fill?"

There's a gutting sort of beauty in the way you're looking up at him with open desperation. He's trying so hard not to fall victim to the siren call of it, but it's perfect vile and he can't help but fold. He'd kill for that look to never leave your face when your eyes fell on him.

"Fuck, I must be in your womb at this rate—would you like that? My load in your womb?" Cato says between a great lungful of air, only to start huffing madly to himself when you nod drunkenly. "Good, because that's exactly where i-it's going."

Mind reeling with every resounding sticky slap of his balls against you, paired with scorching wet slide of him pumping in and out of you. You're crying, all your sensibilities lost in the thorough pace he's ploughing into you with; trying to pull him in by tugging at his shoulders, but with your meagre strength it's merely a vague suggestion.

Still, he leans into it, if only to finally seize the chance to lap the tears off your cheek, and you sob; trying to turn nose to nose with him. Your pathetic pawing at his broad back only exacerbates the overwhelming urgency in his blood.

He's so close.

Bliss crests up like a tide inside him, building and building, stunned with how it makes him buck into you. He's dazed in a way he surely wasn't designed to be resilient against. He can't even shut his damn mouth to stop moaning—and only technically manages to do so when you cover it with your own the very second he's about to finish; your legs squeezing impotently down on his hips, trembling through another climax.

His nerves light up like an orbital barrage, body rocking against the pretty, willing thing below him that you are. He has no idea what's going on beyond that. Are you kissing him? Is that what you're doing? Half his brain is stunned by the idea and the other half is flooded by the rushes of pleasure in his system making his tendons cramp, ravaging him with the sound of his hearts thudding in his ears.

Working himself right into agony; he's tensing against you as he empties himself as deep as he can. His pace finally breaks pattern and staccatos as his mind leadens.

Lulled by the molten satisfaction that swamps him soon thereafter, Cato blindly tries to chase forward and keep your lips on his. Emphasis on tries. He thinks he likes it, foreign as the sensation and sentiment is. He's got his tongue in your mouth, but no real clue what to do beyond lapping further in like a man dying of thirst—and then, of course, you decide to start weakly thrashing for air, blunt teeth grazing against the invading muscle—so, with a miffed groan; he pulls away, drooling as he slumps front-long against you and the lounge with a rumbling sigh, letting his eyes close as he basks in the afterglow.

You're panting still, nosing against the nape of his neck—likely having difficulty respiring under his weight—but despite that, you're still twitching around his spent cock, just like last time.

Wistfully, he wonders if he could sleep with you stuffed full of him like this. Slotted together and absolutely buried in your cunt; reaming you out as far as your small frame will allow. He enjoys the idea of that, and of holding you close.

He listens meditatively as your breathing steadily evens out, a soft in-out rhythm he can hear start in your chest only to feel warmly dancing across his collarbone a moment later.

Your small hand glides up the back of his trapezoid and combs through the short hair at his crown.

He shivers almost immediately at the act, thoughts clouding. He doesn't know what he's supposed to do, now. He can't really bring himself to do anything. He's locked in. It's like he's been sedated, or scruffed about the neck. Then your fingers trace the bare skin behind his ear, and he snaps from the trance enough to crack an eye open to glance down.

"Don't push your luck," he bites out automatically and leers away.

You immediately stiffen, and lurch yourself back—seemingly completely confused.

He's not exactly sure why he reacted that way either, but he's certainly not going to address it.

Ultimately, he opts to pull his cock out of you with scant decorum rather than linger on the topic. Then he settles into a kneel as he eyes the soaked-in stain below the bunched-up fabric of your robe.

"Well," he snorts.

And damn, it's difficult to hold a straight face at the overdramatic, painfully oblivious pout you shoot him.

So, Cato just continues watching you with a cruel sort of satisfaction as you sit yourself up shakily, and realise the mess.

You blanch, promptly shutting your legs and fussing—your ass is half stuck to the fabric of the lounge by your own slick and his spent when you move to stand on shaky, unsure legs.

He's aware of the fact you're after something to wipe away the aftermath. But he's far too content observing you struggle for the moment. Pleased, even. Especially when he's treated to the cringing gasp that slips from you when his semen no doubt starts dripping down your thighs.

You're panicking within seconds. He can hear your heartbeat quickening, plus the acrid tang of baseline stress hormones pervading the room.

There's nothing to spare. Unless you want to leave another smear across the lounge cushioning, but he doubts you'd go so low. He, however, has no such reservations—and yanks the plush velour padded square up to wipe his cock off. It's not as if he wasn't going to toss it down one of the incinerator shafts on the library's second floor anyways.

"Do—" you begin softly, but amend yourself, "Would y-you have anything... to..."

He stares at you, brows furrowed.

Floundering now, you waddle close and swallow harshly.

"To... wipe this up?" You finish, barely a whisper. He can tell you're sour at the fact you're stroking his ego and essentially too full of him to go anywhere.

Cato scoffs, holding up the seating cushion, "What? Too spoilt to use this?"

You cringe at him, "People have sat on that—hundreds of people, probably. I-I don't have your immunity to infection."

Cato cedes on that point at least, because he assumes being a baseline is hell. And so very not his problem, too.

Completely out of left field, comes the temptation to lick you clean. His mulish hind-brain reasons it's a brilliant idea, namely because you'd likely be squirming for him again. Even if he has no real idea of what to do beyond that. Lap at your clit, probably—he's not actually done any of this before except—well, except just slamming into you. He has the basic gist of all of this from biologis graphics and pornographic motionpicts. Yes, the latter are technically contraband on Ultramarine chapter vessels—Throne, he actually remembers when that was put into force. He was still green behind the ears when that'd happened. But those specific brothers had displayed it for abstract amusement, not... it's intended purpose—rather: 'Lo, look at this curiosity, brothers! See they're fornicating, how very so strange! Baselines am-i-right?'

Honestly, it's never actually anything heretical, except for maybe the terrible acting.

He'd deem that punishable by death.

Regardless, Cato's guessing the process of licking something can't really be some sage art form. Not like duelling, and fuck, he's stellar at that. He's stellar at almost everything, he reasons. So why not that? You're such a wanton little thing he'd probably make you finish on accident.

Yet he decides against it as soon as the logical part of his brain boots back up. Largely given the fact he's probably already going to have a hard time as it is trying to avoid others on his way to mask the stink of sex. His brothers have keen noses, it wouldn't be difficult for them to notice the smell of you on his way to his chamber if he's not careful. Let alone if it's smeared all over his face. Next time, however—

"Surely it's not that bad," he says off-handedly.

A surge of shame appears on your face as a red, blotchy belt across your cheeks, and you seem about to protest before he grumbles.

"Still, you really ought to find a solution," he remarks idly, and he notices the implication isn't lost on you.

You frown softly, and wrinkle your nose at him.

"Maybe some manners would help you achieve your goals," he adds, with a clearer spite.

Your frown grows nigh comically harsh.

Cato grunts wryly, satisfied at your annoyance and paws at the hem of his tunic—tearing a portion off and holding it out to you.

You grab the edge of it and tug, but he doesn't let go.

"And what do you say?"

"Thanks," you answer hastily.

He raises an eyebrow and pulls the torn fabric back towards himself ever so slightly, causing you to over extend closer to him.

His stare stays locked on yours, and he gets the treat of watching you dither and fluster under his focus momentarily before you amend, "T-Thank you..." you swallow, and break eye contact, adding; "Commander Sicarius."

"Was that so hard?" Cato scoffs, especially thrilled as he lets go of the scrap—eyeing you as you trot aside, and gingerly begin to wipe away the mess of satisfaction coating your thighs and rear.

When you're decidedly done, you stomp back over to him and hold out the soiled fabric.

He reaches for it, only to have it promptly pulled away.

Cato scowls, and takes a step forward into your space—only for you to inch forward into his.

You're tormenting him then, he decides; or rather he thinks. He's not sure. You don't look smug—you look... nervous? Your lips have drawn into a thin line and you keep glancing between his eyes and behind him randomly.

"What?" He huffs, narrowing his eyes.

"Lean down," you mumble, then quietly make the additional effort of throwing in a "...please."

Cato grumbles at the request but complies, and Throne, he's glad he does; because suddenly you're up on your tip-toes, your hand on his jaw—and your lips are on his cheek.

He blinks, dumb as a mule. It's over as fast as it started and he can't even begin to unpack the elation he's abruptly feeling.

Heedless of his dazzled state, you clear your throat with a bashful laugh—and then the rag is suddenly stuffed into his open hand. He's still frozen there as you practically rush out the room, scooping your previously flung data-slate up as you frantically wave the door mechanism open and vanish from view.

A long wheeze escapes his throat in the empty room, his face thudding with heat.

Oh, he's fucked fucked.

[beifong-brainrot]

One thing I'm realising about a good chunk of the avatar fandom is that they need to be hand held through every development in the entire franchise. Like I've had my suspicions for a while but the reactions to the new Mai comic really cement it for me.

There's this odd aversion to understanding that characters will grow and change. And even if the building blocks for a character's growth are set up earlier, so many people seme unable to extrapolate that potential + time = change.

I think part of the reason to this is that the most prominent character growth arc in the franchise is Zuko's. And it's a very well crafted storyline, but it is also very much spoonfed to us. Not just by us getting to go into Zuko's pov but even having Iroh helpfully narrate and explain what the fuck is going on in Zuko's world at the moment.

And I think this is why a lot of the fandom expects changes to the characters to be these explicitly shown, overtly prominent, dramatic affairs, perferably narrated by a conveniently placed old man. But Zuko's arc was quintessential to a deeper plot, and it had the drama and structure one would expect of a solid storyline. But this won't ring true for all characaters.

Taking Mai's character growth from the apathetic teenage girl who is resentful to the more established young woman who possesses more agency and seemingly has developed more radical views for example.

I've made a long ass post on this, so I won't bore you with the details, but the crux of Mai's character is that she was restricted and handled for most if not all of her life for multiple different reasons.

But at the end of the show, most of those reasons are removed. And this would, as you can imagine, trigger a change in the charcter.

But Mai's change wouldn't be like Zuko's, wouldn't involve wandering a foreign land, running a teashop and having allergic reactions to good decisions. Mai's arc would be her going about a normal life in that flowershop, learning to see the world from a different perspective and looking back at events and systems from her childhood and going "huh. That was fucked up."

And with the comic book format being much more streamlined, this just wouldn't cut it as a compelling plot, because it would basically be a less dramatic version of Zuko's deprogramming. But it doesn't have to. Because we have all the puzzle pieces. Hell, even the comic preview spells it out for us with this obvious metaphor.

I'm just surprised how many people seem to have such an averison to not having every plot point spelled out witg big bold letters. How many people won't go through the simple process of engaging with a piece of media rather than just consuming it.

And I don't mean to grandstand or act like I'm better than the fandom for doing something as simple as not reacting negatively to a slight shift in the fictional status quo.

[genderqueerdykes]

the post you just shared about being both a trans man and a dyke reminded me of something that ive been wanting to talk about for a while now but haven't been able to so far.

im brazilian. the country with one of the biggest pride parades in the world while also being in the highest rates of violence towards lgbt people. queer culture here is weird, and maybe i missed out on it because i was able to find refuge online among the english speaking community relatively early.

ive been observing something that i wrongly assumed was our own version of the butch/femme community, and for a second i got really excited bc we all know butch loneliness, but the more i started looking into it, the more of its completely rotten entrails they showed me.

it's a disfigurement of the ideas that i have held to my heart so dearly ever since i read stone butch blues for the first time, and even more as i discovered leslie feinberg, and found out that there really were others like me. they use the term "desfem" (as in "defeminized"), and the definition explicitly states that the individual must be a cis woman, quoting some terf-tier bullshit that would make joanne proud.

hating men is their entire personality, and it's so shallow and based on cishet gender roles that there is no "femme" counterpart, because they see no way to perform femininity outside of patriarchal roles. they want the aesthetics of butchness without the hardships of living as one. the trans community carries these people on their backs and still they're more worried about how some dykes are trans too.

i don't know where im going with this, i just need to get it off my chest to someone who would at least have an idea of what im talking about. it's so disheartening to see the community head towards this direction, and i grow less and less interested in forming bridges with cis people as time goes on lol

i wanted to thank you for taking the time to send it, i really appreciate these thoughts! i get contacted by a lot of brazilian people. i think that's super cool! i've heard that despite how large your queer scene is that it's still very queerphobic and that's unfortunate, but it does happen.

"hating men is their entire personality, and it's so shallow and based on cishet gender roles that there is no "femme" counterpart, because they see no way to perform femininity outside of patriarchal roles."

i really appreciate the way you said this! i've been trying to point this out for a while now and i'm glad you've come to this realization, yourself.

for whatever reason, cis lesbian, dyke and sapphic spaces are obsessed with the butch-femme binary. it's romanced to hell and back but it's very restrictive and patriarchal. implying that romantic relationships must fall into a masculine partner + feminine partner structure is cisheteromative. there's not much representation for butch4butch, butch4all, femme4femme and femme4all people. the idea that the masculine partner must be strong and protect the weak feminine partner that can't defend themselves is a patriarchal dynamic.

all of the lesbian yearning posts are about how butches are tops and doms and how all femmes are bottoms and subs. butch becomes synonymous with penis and femme becomes synonymous with vagina. calling butches 'chivalrous knights' dehumanizes them and reduces them to being protector figures. the way cis femmes online go on and on and on about how they "need" a butch is very alarming. femmes are being framed as dependent and as though they can't function unless they have a butch in their life, which is very misogynistic.

it's just a repeat of cishet- the patriarchal relationship formatting applies here, even if the genders are slightly tweaked. it's in the coding. it's literally a copy and paste job. it's lazy and toxic as hell and it leaves out all of the diversity that comes with lesbianism and how butches and femmes can experience life and love and sexuality in a variety of ways.

the thing is, as a genderqueer person, i've never understood why people are so attached to this binary. it's so restrictive. i'm butch, but not in the way that white cis lesbians define it. the way they tlel you how to be butch is so restrictive it's not even funny. it's like you gotta pass a test. you gotta be stereotypically masculine 100% of the time or else you're not a real butch. you're expected to emulate a cishet guy, but if you identify as a guy, all hell breaks loose. if you think about it people basically force butches to identify as men and then hold it at arm's reach away. like you have to act exactly like a man but be a Woman. and it makes no fucking sense.

lesbians are some of the most gender diverse people out there. it's crazy to me that people are trying to force lesbians, people who are known for being gender weird, into a male-female cishet binary but with a lesbian Womyn coat of paint. i wish you better luck in finding community that wants to stick together instead of fight over petty bullshit that doesn't matter. take care of yourself. feel free to stop by again any time

[witchyfoxelf]

today is an extremely bad day for the magic the gathering community.

if you don't play mtg, here's what you need to know: the most popular format by far is actually a fan-created format originally known as elder dragon highlander (edh), and later becoming enshrined as an official format under the name commander. despite its official recognition by wizards of the coast, the commander format was governed by an independent panel known as the rules committee. if my use of the term "was" sounds foreboding... it should.

on september 23rd, this independent rules committee announced the addition of four cards to the format's banned & restricted list. regardless of how you feel about these changes, they were aimed to do the one thing the rules committee cares about: keep the format fun & fair for all players. again, i must stress that this is their only motivation. that's something i'd like everyone to keep in mind before we move on to where we are today.

the rules committee was expecting the backlash to their decisions to be vitriolic. the cards they banned were popular among... a certain segment of players. and more importantly, they were cashcows for joyless collectors and the secondary market. the kinds of people who unironically refer to these little pieces of cardboard as "investments." and yeah, i'm being a little unfair here. i will acknowledge that. but i think it's pretty warranted considering what happened next.

what happened next were death threats. lots & lots of death threats. lots & lots of death threats, a disproportionate number of which were directed at the rules committee's only female member. yeah, shocking. ironically it turned out that she literally voted against the most unpopular changes to the banned & restricted list, not that she needs to have to make this entire thing reprehensible. but it's just... frustrating. all of it is very frustrating.

of course she isn't the only one who received these threats. the rest of the rules committee also received similar harassment, as did plenty of people who weren't even involved with this decision. it's just a very ugly moment for the community.

if you have ever considered sending someone actual, literal death threats over PIECES OF CARDBOARD, please reevaluate your entire life immediately.

and look, there are some extremely reasonable criticisms of the decision and how it was announced. i'm not denying that. and i will fully admit that i had a fairly positive view of the bans compared to the people who were angry. but regardless of how you feel about them, one thing is undeniable: they were made by people whose entire motivation is making the format more fun & fair. that was literally their only motivation. they were not beholden to shareholders or executives or any of the other machinery that makes Line Go Up. they just wanted the game to be as fun as possible.

today, wizards of the coast announced that the commander rules committee is officially handing over management of the format to wizards of the coast. a company who, ever since its aquisition by hasbro, has been nakedly motivated by profit above all else. a company who, even when it was more independent, would have ultimately had that motivation simply by virtue of being, you know, a company.

so tl;dr (too late), good job mtg community. you showed your entire ass to the world by harrassing people off of the internet over fucking pieces of cardboard, and now hasbro fully owns the game's most popular format. i hope you're fucking happy.

[rjalker]

Well, have some memes about it.

Feel free to add your own versions of the characters. In fact, consider this an art prompt.

[ID: Three versions of the "I think we're gonna have to kill this guy" meme, showing different versions of A Sphere and A Square from Flatland: A Romance of Many Dimensions, with A Sphere saying "I think we're gonna have to kill this guy, Square", and A Square replying, "Damn.", while text below him indicates he is staring at Ladd Ehlinger, the creator of the 2007 Flatland film. In the first version, the Sphere is a literal blue sphere with lighting on top and shadows underneith, and A Square is a thin line through the air with a bright point in the center. In the second version, A Square is the same, but the Sphere is now more cartoony, with thin black arms, a light green surface with soft lighting and shadow, yellow eyes, and a blue tongue visible as he speaks. The third version has the characters as they appear in the 2007 Flatland film by Ladd Ehlinger. The Sphere is yellow, with protruding red eyes, and a red mouth that goes across his whole front half, like a Pac-Man. A Square is now visibly a Square, with a blue eye on his perimeter that frowns upwards, with dark insides with lighter squiggles. End ID.]

Yeah unfortunately the creator of the 2007 Flatland film is literally a racist misogynistic conservative. So racist in fact that youtube has actually had to restrict videos he's made because they're that blatantly racist. He has literally compared government-funded healthcare and free lunches for school kids to slavery.

You are not a bad person for watching or enjoying his movie, but you should be aware of what kind of person made it, because his bigotry is in the movie, and the way he chose to gloss over and ignore all of the politics of the original novel.

These characters are public domain. They do not belong to this racist misogynist. They belong to all of us. You can design your own versions of the characters in any style you want and do literally anything you want with them.

How about to spite the conservative bigot, everyone takes this as a challenge to create their own designs for these characters, in this meme format, and add them on here?

If you cannot make your own image description, I will make one for you as long as you edit it into your original post.

Flatland is public domain and can be read and listened to and watched in so many different ways. Here is a post linking to a few of them.

Also, you don't have to draw A Square and the Sphere if you don't want to, you can do any Flatland or Flatland-Adjacent characters.

You can start your image description out with "The same meme format as above, but now..." And then describe what the characters look like in your version.

[aroaceleovaldez]

I've been listening to hank green explain (at various times with various contexts but most recently during a vlogbrothers video on Bree Sharp's David Duchovny) how "nothing lasts on the contemporary internet" and I wonder what that might have to do with your analysis on fandom infrastructure... like IS it even possible for BNF/public AUs/OCs/fandom events to exist at the same scale in the new internet? I also have to wonder if rr is similarly operating in this new (awful) way with the knowledge that the old books could last longer as cultural moments while the new books are kinda just... there to trend for a hot minute and then fade away into nonexistence within the fandom canon. or maybe i'm just coping bc I miss old tumblr

I absolutely do think old-style fandom is possible on the modern internet! some of the oldest pillars of fandom are from BEFORE the internet was popularized! Plus, there are still plenty of old-style fandoms that are active in those same ways!

You mention "at the same scale" and i think that's interesting because, yes, a lot of those old-style fandoms that are active are smaller. The thing is the scope of old fandom we're used to when we think of classic examples are outliers who were MASSIVE. PJO was a fandom GIANT back in the day, at least so far as book fandoms went (and still is!). The major thing that's changed is that "fandom" has become mainstream - or at least, the concept of fandom.

The thing with mainstream modern fandom is it gets conflated with general audience a lot. A lot of people trying to engage with fandom when they're new to it don't understand how it's different from just being a normal fan or audience member of a thing, and so just treat them as equivalent and this causes a lot of problems. The main one being the reliance on source material - which causes a lot of newer fandoms to die out whenever there is no new source material - comparatively to old-style fandom, which is inherently self-sustaining.

Some examples of old-style fandoms that are still plenty active are furry fandom (obviously), a decent number of anime fandoms (particularly older ones or less mainstream ones cause the communities are smaller/closer-knit, also their fandoms aren't as strictly western-leaning), and Hermitcraft/associated fandoms is one particularly that I'm in that's VERY active and old-fandom style. They're constantly engaging with material that's long over or series that have ended (Evo, older Life series, older Hermitcraft seasons, etc). They have fandom OCs/AUs/concepts that are shared, they have a TON of projects happening constantly (a recent massive one that just finished is the Hotguy Comics zine! It's an incredibly cool project). Hermitcraft fandom is pretty much the closest new* fandom to old-style fandom that I've found so far (*it is technically 11 years old but it had a recent boom during the MCYT surge in like 2020).

But yes! Old-style fandom absolutely can still exist - and does! It's just far less common because the mainstream image/concept of what fandom is that has become popularized differs from it in practicality. People are being introduced to fandom as just being equivalent to a general audience and are interacting with it as such, when it should be interacted with as a niche, very passionate community. The core of old fandom is always community.

I guess i would describe it as like, passive fandom versus active fandom? Passive fandom being the "new fandom" type format - near complete reliance on source material, usually some attitude of entitlement towards fanwork creators because theyre viewing it as another source material to passively engage with, large lack of headcanons or hcs being equated to theories, shipping is restricted almost exclusively to canon pairings (and ships/headcanons are treated more as things you want to become canon, not explorations outside of canon), etc etc. There's no community or creation happening, only a focus on consumption and maybe at best how to streamline consumption (the only sorts of hubs we see form in this type of fandom are update accounts and official social medias). Basically no proper community has formed and there is little to no engagement with the material outside of the source media. (I also have a theory that this format leads to some New Fandom behaviors that have become more commonplace comparatively to Old Fandom, such as a LOT more trying to directly interact with writers/cast/crew or reliance on them as secondary source materials during hiatus or similar - we see this now with PJO TV and a lot of people downright literally stalking the actors - and almost a refusal to make fanwork of their own. You see a lot more of "omg somebody write/draw [concept]" or trying to pitch ideas to source material writers because they only want to engage passively, not actively, or genuinely don't know how to engage actively.) Big Name Fans can absolutely exist in this sphere, but it's a completely different environment (for PJO, Velinxi is a good example of a new fandom BNF - ive found in this format of fandom, BNFs are almost exclusively fanartists, because fanart is one of the easiest fanworks to find and passively engage with. This also often results in the community being extremely entitled towards larger fanartists).

Active fandom, comparatively, is focused on community and creation. This is where you see fandom projects, engaging with the media beyond the source material, things of that nature. There is actually a structured community.

This post got long but I have more points regarding the second half of your question and my thoughts for why the new books are so. Like That. so I'm going to move that whole ramble to a second post which I will post momentarily.

[part 2 here!]

[zangtang]

Everything can change at any point!

Create images here: https://www.bing.com/images/create?FORM=GENILP before i say anything else though: not following someone else's prompts means you'll likely find some wild and unexpected things yourself. If you follow my prompts like they're laws, you will only ever get results like mine. There are people doing much cooler, weirder things. Don't get restricted by this.

the site was VERY BROKEN for the last 6 days, you haven't been banned. You get 15 boosts a day which usually override any current downtime, but the popup thinks you get 25 a week, which is an indicator of how busted and poorly planned they were for this flood of users. It's not too hard to create illegal results, and there's millions of users, so it's very unlikely a human is ever looking at your results. Unless you're doing really spectacularly terrible things, of course. If you get the warning as soon as you enter your prompt, change the most controversial aspects of your prompt immediately, as repeats of this will get you suspended for increasingly long times. It is possible to make alt accounts with throwaway emails though. It's unconfirmed but it appears that US residents get priority access during US times, and UK residents can only reliably make things from 7am to 1pm for example. Weekend access is a crapshoot. I don't personally pay for ChatGPT so I can't say anything about the alleged priority access you get there, but even that can be slow and restricted during the worst times (I assume this will the their priority to fix though). There are many conflicting reports about whether it's more censored or not. Reports is a very fancy way of saying reddit comments.

Everything I superstitiously guess about prompts:

you can be very descriptive and write in natural english, or you can be very brief. both methods work, I suspect both versions do different things. repetition and restating the same thing in other ways also seems to emphasise (possibly.) Prompts can be quite chaotic and contradictory - you can describe a lot of things happening and it may surprise you, so have fun with weirdness! some words are "heavy" against the automated filters, and can be safe in one prompt and unsafe in another. think of it like buckaroo, the AI is trying to find meaning in your prompt and it will sometimes combine things and get mad about it. be aware of politics and words that may be used in erotic senses, and switch those up.

this is the format I use the most because i am super lazy and unimaginative. items in [ ] are optional and can be anything, and I don't know how the word order matters - in old Midjourney it mattered quite a bit according to guides, but now they're all pushing to parse natural english I'm not so sure:

[number of] [body type] [age] [nationality] [male noun or job] wearing [clothes], with a [size, shape] belly, [hair description], [pose], [location, time of day, weather, lighting, era], [facial expression or attitude], [actions]

The number of guys can be vague like "several." Also placing a number here will generally result in all men being fat. To add a second, very different person (even women! imagine the power), simply describe that in plain english later in the prompt. Try adding "with friends" or something and seeing what happens.

Mentioning body type is separate from mentioning that he has a large stomach because "fat man" alone doesn't make him very fat. also, the body type prompt will dictate his physical build underneath the belly - this allows you to make mpreg very easily, for example. Mentioning his belly separately also seems to be a key part in making clothes not cover it up. However, DallE has clearly gotten much better at this for some clothes, but not all of them. Formalwear is improving, though tactical vests no longer do the cute thing they used to do, and football shirts still ride up reliably. Nationality can be weird, and you can use it to exploit stereotypes, or it can be an eye-opening view of stereotypes from countries you barely know about - want to know what differentiates an Angolan man from a Kenyan man? Probably don't trust AI results! I suspect some countries are controversial due to current politics, and I suspect some are controversial due to fetishy stereotyping. However, if for example "English man" got censored, consider going for capital cities or famous regions, eg "London man." Maybe look up sports teams from that country. I'm a big fan of the "Italian-American" prompt but lately it's gotten quite a few results blocked, so I'd switch to "New Jersey," maybe even "New Jersey Italian."

"Handsome" may slim your results down, or even break the prompt entirely. Consider making your men footballers or rugby players, mention trendy haircuts, or using out of date synonyms to get round it. AI isn't all that likely to give you especially ugly results anyway, particularly if you specify ages under 40. It doesn't get the hair precisely right, but even a generic prompt like "short thick hair" can help. Giving your character a job may dictate what he'll wear, but you might want to specify what clothes you want anyway. Don't mention either if you hope he'll turn out naked. Certain jobs are tricky to use, as AI strains to be as unpolitical as possible - it doesn't want you doing politicians and it sometimes seems to refuse anything that might make the police or military look bad. However, it will accept "wearing a [colour] uniform/pilot shirt" very happily, because it's duuuuumb.

Mention trousers, footwear or even just feet if your results keep zooming in too much. (It'll also zoom in if you mention too much about his face, I think.) Side view appears to make certain prompts fatter, but will often mean he's looking away - you can add "Looking at camera" if you want that. Metallic and plastic clothes can have very fun and weird results, especially if you change the location to a night setting in the rain. Gladiator costumes will reduce his clothes to a few leather straps.

"Flex pose" and "strong pose" will get butch bodybuilder poses (it will also buff up the muscle mass) and "battling strong winds" gets very superhero poses. At least when I was trying these out, I found I couldn't actually get proper bodybuilder poses or mention of superheroes past the censor, but it's been a few weeks so who knows what it's up to now. Give them all a go!

Casual poses and actions can liven things up a little if you just want portraits but don't want it to repeatedly be the same thing facing you directly. Getting out of a car, climbing stairs, leaning against things, adjusting his clothes or putting on a coat, all these kinds of things work. Smoking or drinking does quite a lot. "Tired" or "Exhausted" changes his attitude a lot too, your leans get leaned into more.

Contact words can be a little difficult, so consider ways to exploit using soft contact, or be very wordy and detailed about it so it's not misinterpreting you. "Patting him on the back" is a fairly safe phrase, but DallE isn't intelligent, so it will allow the contact but it will struggle to be precise, especially when the bodies are fat or not positioned in a way they can reach the back - the result of this is that there will be a lot of belly pats. Prodding in the stomach, pointing at the stomach, these both work, but I think DallE is vague about stomach=torso and you may want "pointing at his belt" to give a lower focus. Admiring can direct attention and vibes, whispering will draw their heads closer and make them interact somewhat. Embracing and hugging work but is very heavy for the censor, "hugging on his shoulder/belly" seems safer for some reason. Shaking, grabbing, "examining/concerned about his belly" can work. Bizarrely, squeezing past another man in a narrow corridor/doorway/cupboard works if you want a LOT of contact. And if you want unpredictable contact, fighting can work.

For more dynamic safe contact, try sporting actions. Baseball slides, football tackles, that kind of thing. It's hard to get them to lie flat and the AI seems to resist allowing heads to touch the ground, but "lying in a hammock" works pretty well, and sometimes specifying what the head is touching works. pretty much every minor prompt variation and scenario I've ever used:

"falling onto a broken chair/breaking an object with his weight" "washing windows" "with waiters helping him up" "with friends bringing him food" "falling over another man" "outside of a skyscraper washing windows, harness for safety, hoisted" "hyper-obese man wearing denim dungarees with an enormous inflated belly, drinking from a hose" ("blowing into a hose" gets better expressions for that IMO) "stuck in a broken narrow red british phonebooth with another man, bursting out with his enormous belly, black trousers" "bent over eating at a pie eating contest wearing a dirty white tank top with an enormous round belly and his face hidden buried in messy pie" "sitting on a throne next to a very fat 35 year old spanish monarch" "lying on his back the floor, enjoying a banquet, side view, tired expression" "very fat 35 year old handsome british man wearing tracksuit and gold chain with a hugely distended beerbelly, man with a massive round stomach, washing his car in a carpark at night side view" "at water park, stuck in a water slide" "before and after weightloss picture, in the left he is X and in the right he is Y" "with a large round belly spilled over eating at a banquet with an enormous round belly, bronzed, with waiters helping him up/being prodded with a fork" "washing dishes and leaning over his belly on a freestanding enamel pedestal basin" "climbing and leaning against a stepladder to change a lightbulb on the ceiling [with friend holding the stepladder steady]" "side view, photo of two 40 year old beefy handsome fat italian-american rugby player with a hugely distended round belly, resting hand on his chest, wearing a tracksuit with a gigantic round sagging stomach, gold chain, raining, whispering in a car park at night, leaning/hugging on shoulder, tired, stern expression looking at camera, smoking a cigarette" "side view photo of two strong 40 year old handsome samoan rugby player with a hugely distended round beerbelly, chest hair, wearing a white formal shirt and black suit, hugging on his belly, proud expectant father, boyfriends outside a busy pub at night, stern, looking at camera, raining" "two fat los angeles rams handsome footballers wearing white pilot shirt and plain tie and black trousers pushing through a narrow saloon door with their enormously distended beerbellies, stern" "photo of very fat 30 year old hunk rugby player with enormously distended belly, carrying his belly in a wheelbarrow" "very fat 35 year old man wearing white pilot shirt with an enormous round belly, tough man with a very large beerbelly, too fat for small broken airplane seat sitting on another man, fat belly spilling over armrest and pressing against over man, black trousers, slightly concerned, suave" "being carried on the back of a flatbed truck" can turn them into horrific lardvalanches but you don't get much control over it

original characters do not steal prompts: "30 year old man who looks like he's the main character from the game Uncharted with an enormous distended round beerbelly, with one hand on a bar in a pub, nathan" This is sometimes surprisingly effective, but most often it'll simply draw vibes from the IP mentioned, so you can use it to get specific settings at least

Try spelling the names wrong or reversing the name order - sometimes it'll even accept names sprinkled throughout the prompt. Repeating the name may increase its effect (it might also not!) Also it's speculated that placing the celebrity fraud in a place or situation they would normally be found in helps. That said, I could only get a Robert Downey Jr if I made him dress as a gladiator. So maybe weirdness and ingenuity are your strengths. see also https://www.tumblr.com/baron-bear/731903035856584704/what-do-you-use-for-your-ai-stuff

[phenomenalgirl9]

Jungkook x Reader: Time of my Life

Summary: That time when you had to take up the role of your friend when she suddenly injured her leg. Yes dancing with an (almost stranger) partner wasn't as bad as you imagined it to be.

A/n: Happy Birthday Jungkookie. I never thought I'd be able to complete it before 1st Sept 11:59pm KST. Hugely inspired from the 1987 movie "Dirty Dancing". (Watch it if you haven't)

W/c: 19.5k

_____________________________________

When you joined the entertainment label you barely thought you'd find yourself here, in the arms of Jeon Jungkook trying to perfect mambo steps nonetheless. No, you didn't hate him, but it's just you don't know him well, even though He was your best friend's partner since forever. 

_____________________________________

2 days ago

"Where are you?" Yuna, the closest person you had to a best friend, scolded you over the phone. "On my way! I'm almost there. Sorry, one of the formations took too much time!" You said as you hung up and rushed into the studio you were supposed to be ½ an hour ago. You bowed to the other in the room as Yuna sent a glare towards you and stood in position. Yes, this was a ritual for Yuna to gather all of the choreographers and lead dancers of the label to show their final choreography before any competition. 

The music started and you watched Yuna and Jungkook dance with grace. They caught every beat together, every step Jungkook did, Yuna met him halfway. You've watched them together so many times and you're left in awe every time. No matter how many times she tells you there's nothing between them you refuse to believe that there's NO feelings involved. How else do you trust and are so in sync with a person?

1 day ago

You received a call from one of the staff and rushed to where they called you. 

"Oh my god. Yuna! Are you okay?!" You rushed to her, the poor girl was withering in pain. Jungkook ran into the room and scooped her in his strong arms, "we need to take her to the hospital" he said looking at you and you followed him out of the building. Turns out Yuna tore a ligament and her movement is restricted for 3 months. 

"Oh my god! Are you okay? Do you feel pain?" You asked. She sat there crying her eyes out as Jungkook was already there to comfort her in his arms. "I fucked up the compitition" she said, and you sighed. "Yuna c'mon it happens" she said and as Jungkook left her side to go grab a juice she hugged you, you caressed her hair. "It's not right for Kook to suffer," she said. "Hey, he'll understand, it's not like you did it. It just happened" you assured her. "Y/n you were the only one who was in alot of the practices. I know you pick up choreography just by watching it once or twice. You have it memorised don't you?!" She looked at you with big puppy eyes, and now you felt nervous with the direction the talk was going in. "I-" you stuttered and she continued. "I know you do, you pointed out that change in one of the postures and poses. Please Y/n, do it for me, not the company" she said. "You know I don't do intimate dances, this is mambo" you said. "Y/n you've done more intimate and difficult dances with your dancers" she said. "Yes but they are MY dancers. This is YOUR partner whom I barely know. I mean it, I don't even know his surname. What is he Kim? Lee?" You said and shrugged, trying to reason with her. "It's Jeon" Jungkook's voice rang from the back and you both looked at him "and are you crazy? Y/n L/N? Mambo with me? She freaked out when that new dancer touched her arm a bit out of place" he said, you didn't know if you should be happy as he's siding with you or feel offended. 

Yuna shook her head and looked at you "Y/n if you don't do this we'll be out for the whole rest of the year, not just this season. Which also means no payment for both of us" she said, "Jungkook shouldn't have to, no shut up" she stopped and shushed Jungkook's protests and said "he shouldn't have to live with this, please, at least try?" She looked at you with hopeful eyes, even though Jungkook said otherwise, he did too.

"Okay! I will try! But no promises" you said and Yuna cheered. 

_____________________________________

Hence, here you were, "your form is good, but you're too stiff" Jungkook remarked, as he tried the steps with you. "Y/n stiff with Jiminie (your lead dancer). You know what, both of you, go get coffee, get to know each other or Y/n will never loosen up”. You both tried to protest but Yuna wasn’t having any, even on the wheelchair she made you two do exactly what she wanted. Hence, after being thrown out of the studio you both walked to the Hybe cafe and grabbed your drinks. “Wah you like (Your favorite drink with special ingredient) I thought you'd be more of a matcha person” he said. “Why would you think that?” You asked and he shrugged chuckling. You learned that Jungkook was also born in Busan and in the same neighborhood as Yuna. He has an elder brother and has been dancing all his life, however he started mambo with Yuna on a whip. “Wait, so You've only ever danced with Yuna?” you asked in shock. “No, but I’ve only ever performed with Yuna,” he said and sipped his drink. You also told him about your family, and how dance has been your only outlet in childhood. How you never really have many real friends so new people scare you. That was when you realized he was as nervous as you were in this situation. But, if you didn’t overcome this both of them would be out for the whole year, until next spring. You sipped and completed the rest of your drink in one go and stood up. “Okay Jeon Jungkook, let's mambo” you said, and he almost choked, “Wah? What happened suddenly?” he asked. “I found my motivation” you said and walked and started walking towards the studio. Jungkook shook his head to see your phone still lying on the table and he quickly grabbed it before following you. 

Mid-way in the elevator, when you felt your pockets empty you exclaimed, “Oh no MY Phone!!” startling the others in the elevator. “This?” Jungkook said and smirked, showing his bunny teeth. You sighed and grabbed it “you could have told me sooner” you whined, “and miss that expression? Nah” he said and the two of you laughed. When you entered the studio you felt a bit better. 

_____________________________________

“Hands up, look into my eyes” Jungkook said, and you obeyed. “Y/n you can move a bit more closer, Jungkook doesn’t have cooties” Yuna said and again you obeyed. “Let him lead, as misogynistic as it sounds,” Yuna added again. “And 3, 2, 1, Turn, pull” Yuna said on the beat, and Jungkook twirled you and pulled you close, your back to his chest. You sucked in a breath as he lead you into the move, his hands roaming your body. “Pause!” you almost screamed and pushed him away and rushed out of the room. “Yuna wheeled behind you, before leaving she signaled Jungkook who was ready to run after you to stay put. “Y/n? Are you okay?” she asked as she found you crouched near the wall. “It’s uncomfortable right? I understand, If you want I-” she tried to comfort you but you interrupted her and said “No” you said "I will do this" you added and walked back while pushing Yuna with you. 

"Are you okay?" Jungkook asked as soon as you entered and you nodded. You tried the step again. "Y/n? Are you in pain?" Jungkook asked when you found your eyes shut tightly. You shook your head "go on" you said. "I can't. It seems like this step is physically hurting you" he said with concern in your eyes. You huffed and crouched down, and Jungkook did the same beside you, stroking your hair "are you okay?" And you nodded.

"Why don't we do it slowly little by little, do it progressively until you're okay with it?" He suddenly suggested. And you looked at him, into his big doe eyes his look was so sincere. You nodded and he pulled you up. And you did, did it once as he touched you little by little lightly. It felt less and less uncomfortable as he kept talking to you, telling you about his and Yuna's childhood days. 

_____________________________________

4 days later

"It's Pre-Shoot Day!!" Yuna cheered as Jungkook and you got into the company car. "Could you be any more excited?" You asked about drinking the (your favorite drink) that Jungkook brought with his latte. "We don't need to perform today, just a shoot and a small video," Jungkook said. 

He had your hand in his, the whole way, you felt comfortable and guilty. The past few days you've come to find a strange form of comfort in Jungkook. But, you knew it was wrong, Jungkook wasn't yours to hold. Him and you are just for the time being, it's him and Yuna, it always has been, by the looks of it. Then again you didn't have the heart to pull your hand away, so this once just this once you'll grab this one chance for yourself even if it's for 2 weeks. 

So you did, you aced the photo shoot and the video shoot. "You both have such good chemistry almost as good as Jungkook and Yuna" the director said and you tried your best to not let your smile falter, that was supposed to be a compliment, then  why did it feel the opposite. Jungkook cleared his throat and said "if it's done then we'll be off director nim" he said and pulled you away by your wrist. 

"Are you okay?" He asked, searching for your face that had almost dimmed and was drained of the excitement that you had a few minutes ago. You nodded and parted ways to get back to the green room. You were about to enter, when you heard the stylists that were previously aiding you discussing. 

"She's just a stand in"

"She isn't even half the elegance that Yuna had"

"Yeah I don't know if they'll be able to even pass this year"

Your hand tightened around the handle and you pushed in, grabbed your things and walked out. You went straight outside and hailed a cab and went back to the company building.

The staff were shocked when they watched you walk in teary eyed and step right into your studio and lock it. If someone would listen intently they'd hear the sound of sobbs from inside. As soon as the news reached Yuna she asked the staff to quickly take her to you.

"Y/n" she called from outside. "I swear to god, I will break this door if required if you don't open…what?.. you have a key" the last part was probably directed to whoever was there outside with her. "We have a key we'll get in, so just unlock and let me in. Just me. Promise" she said. You slowly walked to the door and pried it open and Yuna wheeled in and closed the door. 

"Did Jungkook do something? Say something? I'll kill-" Yuna was interrupted when you shook your head and said "no". "Just that-" you sighed and decided to tell her everything that happened, starting from the director's comments to what the staff said. "Y/n, those are dumb insignificant people who don't even know what they are talking about" Yuna said caressing your hair. "It's just, what if I pull you two down?" you asked. "You won't" the sound came from behind you two, there stood Jungkook in his normal baggy clothes near the studio door. "Go away" you said and pulled your knees to your chest and put your head down. "No" he said and instead came and sat beside you. "C'mon" he said and forced your head on his shoulder "stop considering me an outsider" he whined and you broke into a smile. He's such a good friend, you thought. 

_____________________________________

2 more days later

"You won't look through social media until the performance" Yuna said and uninstall your apps. 

"People are shit talking I know" you said and sighed. "Y/n would never be Yuna" you said and sighed again. "Y/n doesn't need to be Yuna, just Y/n can rock everyone with her dance and smile" Jungkook said with his bunny smile. The smile that has brought you comfort even during your multiple breakdowns. You smiled and mirrored his expression.

You both almost spent over 16 hours of the day together to practice and just parted ways to sleep. All the choreography was nearly perfected except the two lifts. You often lost balance and that was where you were tense.

"Yuna? Should I take you to the hospital tomorrow?" You asked. "Nope, you two carry on, manager nim will bring me and I think I'll take off. Why am I even working so hard if I am not dancing" she said and the two of you laughed. Hence, the next day you felt nervous, when you stepped into the studio to meet only Jungkook. He looked at you through the mirror, and smiled his bunny smile. You both lay the mattresses to practice the lifts. You both start off with a run through of the choreo, neither of you speak a word. The tension was seriously so thick you could cut it with a knife. Being alone with Jungkook did something weird to your brain. His every touch sent goosebumps down your spines. The first lift was easy and you managed it, then the bridge came, then you both prepared, you ran towards him and he was ready and you lightened your body and he picked you up with ease as you held your pose. And he put you down, and as if in reflex he immediately found his hand on your waist, the other on your neck and pulled you in, crashing his lip onto yours. He walked and pushed you while kissing you, until your back hit the mirror. Your both mouths are running in sync. The feeling of his lips on yours made you forget everything, who you were, what you are. Suddenly, realisation hit you, and you pushed him away. "Y/n? What's wrong?" he asked in utter confusion. "How could you?" You said and looked at him with disappointment. Walking out on him. 

How could I let this happen? She's my best friend?! What will she think? Fuck!, You thought. Jungkook kept calling but you never received them. Jungkook got impatient as time went and he finally called Yuna and explained everything to her. Thank god she skipped the teasing (for now) and immediately called you. 

You flinched the moment you saw the name on the screen. How could you talk to her after what you've done? 

Both Yuna and for you to get back to either of them, but you didn't. So, when it was the next afternoon and you still hadn't come to the studio or called, Yuna decided to take matters into her own hands.

Meanwhile you wallowed in self-pity and sorrow and guilt. Ever since college days you knew Yuna was in love with Jungkook even though she didn't admit it. You watched the two of them perform together and the thought became a belief, you didn't really have any reason so you never really spoke to Jungkook beyond the pleasantries. But now being around him and your feelings. You felt dumb that the first crush you had in a while is the person your bestfriend is in love with. How could you just up and kiss him and do this?! Where was your conscience? Yuna would never want to see you again. What- 

Your thoughts were interrupted by the knock on the door. Who was it now? You walked to the door and opened it only to meet eyes with your best friend. "Y/n! You crazy lady" she said and rammed her wheelchair inside before you could react, so you moved and let her in. Might as well face her, the staff member behind her bowed and signaled you to shut the door.

You didn't say a word, "what's wrong with you?" She asked and you were still silent, you didn't know what to tell her. Did Jungkook not tell her? "Yuna I- I- did something terrible and I'm so sorry" you said and Yuna was confused, "I'm sorry I-I- kissed-" you stopped, you felt like your lung would explode. "Jungkook?" She completed your sentence and you looked at her. Was she here to confront you? "Why did you run away?" She asked. "I was so sorry cause I know you-" you stopped again and Yuna asked "Y/n why would you be sorry? It's just Jungkook" she said and you looked at her, your turn to be confused. 

"You're not angry? Why are you so okay?!" You asked.

"Why will I be if my two best friends are finally getting together, specially when one of the said best friends has been pining over the other for ages" she said and you stuttered"but I thought you, you and him- you" 

"I always told you I didn't like him, we just have that chemistry cause we know each other since we were in diapers. He's like a brother to me" she said and you sat down. Yuna came to you and wiped your tears away. "Y/n, you fool" she said and pulled you into a hug. "Do you know how long I've waited for you two to interact? He's been pining after you since 3 years ago when we joined the entertainment" she said, and you were shocked. Jungkook is generally quiet on the outside so maybe you never even noticed him like that. 

"Please go to him, he almost cried last night when you switched off your phone for him" Yuna said and you fiddled with your hair. 

Yuna dropped you at the company building with almost a threat to pulverize both of you, if you didn't "fix this". 

You looked through the little glass window to see Jungkook lying on the ground. You opened the door and he said "did you talk to her Yu-" he stopped talking when he looked at the door and saw you standing instead. Suddenly, you felt extremely conscious of yourself and your messy hair that you noticed now with the mirror in front of you. "Hi" was all you could muster as you walked in further, but he was still silent and still. "I'm sorry, I misunderstood you" you said and he frowned in confusion. 

"I was really under the impression that you liked Yuna and I freaked out cause. I liked you and thought that you didn't but you ki-" you were shut off by the force of his lips on yours. And you wrapped your hands around his neck and closed your eyes. 

"You're all I have ever liked" he said when he finally parted. "Like are you blind?" I brought you coffee and food so many times" he said, pouting. "I thought you were just being nice or Yuna sent them, you never really said anything apart from Food for you and a smile" you defended yourself and he pulled you into a hug. 

_____________________________________

Hence, here you were, on the day of the competition. Hand in hand with Jungkook on standby waiting for the host to call out your name. 

Now I've had the time of my life 

No, I never felt like this before 

Yes I swear, it's the truth 

And I owe it all to you

You both started the routine, hitting every step as the crowd cheered on.

Now with passion in our eyes 

There's no way we could disguise it secretly 

So we take each other's hand  'Cause we seem to understand the urgency

Everyone was surprised with the energy and chemistry that you radiated, the ease with which Jungkook made you move and you followed his lead. You both nailed the 1st lift. It was just you and him, nothing and nobody else mattered. 

Just remember,

You're the one thing 

I can't get enough of 

So I'll tell you something 

This could be love, because 

I've had the time of my life

That part came and Jungkook smiled. He trusted the both of you and you just need to have faith. You both parted away and you rushed towards him and with a simple movement he picked you up steadying the two of you and you held the position. The cloud erupted in a cheer as he put you down continuing the choreography. 

'Cause I've had the time of my life 

And I've searched through every open door 

'Til I found the truth  

And I owe it all to you.

You both hugged tight as cheers burst out among the crowd, even the other dancers were clapping and cheering so hard. Jungkook and you walked down the stage and Yuna pulled you both into hugs. "I'm so proud of you two, especially you Y/nie." She said.

_____________________________________

2 months later

"You set the bar too high for me," Yuna grumbled, as this season's trophy shined on the studio shelf. "Can you both stop eating faces and listen to me!" Yuna's yelling brought you back two back from your world.

"My baby is going away for a week with that Jimin hyung" Jungkook said grumbling. "Aw, don't be jealous, there's also Felix, Minghao and Wooyoung" you said, patting his head as he grumbled further and reluctantly stood up to restart practicing with Yuna. 

"I love you and trust you, don't worry," he said. "I wasn't worried, but I love you too, " you replied. 

_____________________________________

Other Works

Taglist: @bbl32 @back2bluesidex @cherryblossom-2004

[iridescentxstars]

｡˚ ꕥ 𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐱𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬' 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 '𝟐𝟒

Kinky season is coming and I thought I'd get a head start. From today until the end of September, I'll be taking kinktober requests while also working on some other fics that I hope to have done and ready soon (yes, the wolf fic is at the top of the list) This event is split into two different types: typical NSFW and dark, spooky NSFW because as someone kept making a point of, it's kinkTOBER and lines up with spooky season and I should have fun with that.

Idols allowed: Jongin, Bangchan, Minho, San, Seonghwa, Juyeon, Sangyeon and Irene

RULES:

Must have all qualifying factors to the prompt otherwise it will be deleted.

Drabbles made that are on the darker side will be tagged and properly trigger warned. Do not read them if you are uncomfortable. Every post will state everything used.

Always take care of yourself and be aware of what you read. This is all for fun and is not designed to upset anyone. Nothing written is believed to be how someone may behave and is all fictional.

Try to be original and fun. If a kink/prompt has been picked too many times, I will not do it

If you don't like a particular prompt/kink, feel free to ignore it, do not send snarky remarks to belittle what someone may enjoy

Some will very clearly work well together, some will not, while I do like a challenge, please be mindful about how it would work as I only have around 500 words to make it make sense

Please do not make the prompt too restrictive. These are meant to be drabbles and there needs to be creative freedom

Format: Must contain the following: Idol, AU, trope/dialogue/prompt, kink

You can have a trope OR a dialogue OR a prompt OR all of it. Mix and match. Requests that spark inspiration might get a longer piece written. You can choose up to 3 kinks but only 1-2 AU, tropes and prompts/dialogue to keep it easy!

All these prompts have been either thought about or found on other accounts because sometimes it's hard to remember or think about different ideas. The darker/spooky choices are coloured red to separate them from the safer choices.

Note: They can be interchangeable in the right circumstances. Mafia can be considered dark or maybe having a werewolf boyfriend is softer than we think.

AU: (some found here)

Roommates!AU

Mafia!AU

Werewolf!AU

Vampire!AU

College!AU

Angel!AU

Demon!AU

Hunter!AU

Co-Workers!AU

Friends With Benefits!AU

Superhero/Villain!AU

Yandere!AU

Monster!AU (specify what kind)

Killer!AU

Circus!AU

Stalker!AU

Mythology!AU (specify what kind/who)

Hybrid!AU

CEO!AU

Alien!AU

You Choose (will allow 3 max of this)

Tropes: (found here)

Enemies to lovers

Fake Dating/Marriage

Only one bed

Love potion

Kissing as a distraction

Jealousy

Blind Date

Taking care of them

Forbidden Love

Confessions

You Choose (will allow 3 max of this)

Dialogue/Prompt: (some found here)

“Don’t act innocent when we both know where your mouth was two minutes ago.”

“I could make you feel better.”

“My tongue still remembers the way you taste.”

“Come on, you have to work for it.”

“We won’t be missed for a couple hours, we should take advantage of that.”

“Hmm, is that a threat or a promise?”

“Let’s commit some sins.”

“Jealousy is not a word I’m familiar with.

“This is your work place, leave the boyfriend at home next time.”

“This seems like such a bad decision, but I just can’t help it.”

"You'll scream? Oh, baby, I really hope you do~."

You've been hearing noises for a while now, shuffling under your bed in the wee hours of the night. Most people would be scared to check whether it's their cat or not but you? You decide to lure the monster out by having a little fun.

There are no such things as monsters in your closet, that's what's always been told to you but how do they explain the eyes that watch you as you touch yourself? Or why you can't seem to stop doing it?

Everyone has a pet, a cute kitty cat or a puppy dog but you? Well, you have something that can't be found in a pet store... or... on this earth, actually.

A new haunted house has opened up and everyone is dying to go! You are scared, you won't deny that but what do you find scarier? The house and all its horror or the fact that being chased turns you on?

They told you that they would kill for you but you didn't think that they were serious... or did you?

You always joked with your extremely hot best friend that you would flirt and fuck your kidnapper because you read a lot of dark romance. So, they decided to make that dream a reality. Oh no, whatever will you do to gain your freedom?

Two words: Masked Men

You go to a party with your friends on Halloween and spot a handsome guy, walking around, shirtless, covered in fake blood with a mask on. Little did you know that it isn't quite a costume...

The dare was to enter the creepy, abandoned, possibly haunted asylum... not make out in it.

You Choose (will allow 3 max of this)

Kinks:

Oral

Toys

Knotting

Primal Play/Predator/Prey

Bondage

Praise/Worship

Degradation

Orgasm Control/Edging

Roleplay

Breeding/Creampie

Knife play

Blood play

Fear play

Dom/Sub

Impact Play

Overstimulation

Public

Dacryphilia

Free use (established/consensual)

Breath Play/Choking

Somnophilia

Owner/Pet

Voyeurism/Exbitionism

Photo/Video

Sensory Deprivation

Size Difference

Age Gap

You Choose (will allow 3 max of this)

I won't be putting the pressure on myself to do one a day as I do also work and everything else BUT I will try to do them every few days so there is no limit on what can be sent in as I'll go through and post like 1-5 at a time when I'm online and writing!

[hwsfemmephenomenon]

Check out our preemptive FAQ here!

Without further ado, here are the answers to your questions from the interest check:

☆ I would like to apply to be an art mod, but my Hetalia fanwork is a bit old and not up to date with my current skill level? Can I submit some non-Hetalia fanwork for my mod portfolio?

If this is the case, submit any work you're proud of, regardless of its relevancy to Hetalia!

☆ What does "spread" and "page" mean?

☆ Where do I sign up?

Contributor applications will be opening July 1, 2024. We’ll make a post with the link to the contributor apps at 3PM EST on July 1, but you’ll also be able to find a link to the apps on our Carrd when the time comes! Right now the button on our Carrd is a placeholder, but if you press it now, you’ll be rewarded with a cool and funky video :]

☆ Will page size/formatting guidelines be given?

Yes! At the moment, there are placeholder measurements in our info-doc. Proper formatting will be finalized before contributor apps open once we’ve onboarded our formatting mods and discussed what sizes are best!

☆ Can my contribution include multiple HetaGirls?

YES!!! Let them interact!

☆ Are ships allowed?

Yes! As of right now, our only restrictions are no Belarus x Ukraine and no NSFW content.

☆ How many contributors will you accept to the zine?

At the moment, we’re a bit unsure! This is both Soph and Arson’s first time hosting a zine so we don’t want to bite off more than we can chew. As of right now, we may accept up to ~30 visual contributors and ~10 writing contributors, but those are estimates. We’ve gotten a ton of support for this zine, but we need to find our footing first! Ultimately, the final number of contributors will depend on what the mod team feels they can handle and how many applications we get!

☆ Why are you putting limits onto how Nyotalia characters can appear in the zine?

This zine originally came to be with the canon women in mind. We want the zine to focus on Ancient Egypt, Belarus, Belgium, Czechia, Hungary, Liechtenstein, Monaco, Seychelles, Taiwan, Ukraine, Vietnam, and Wy, as much of their canon material treats them as supporting roles to the male characters. We additionally would love to see submissions for Ancient Greece, Kenya, and Zimbabwe!

The Nyotalia characters are understandably very popular because they're a different take on the main cast. While we also love Nyotalia, we worry that very popular characters, like the main 8, will overshadow the characters we created this zine for in the first place. Nyotalia women are allowed in supporting roles because it would understandably be a little difficult for the writers if they were only limited to a specific set of 12-17 characters.

Some examples of work featuring Nyotalia characters would be:

A frying pangle fic where Hungary interacts with Nyo!Austria and/or Nyo!Prussia

A group illustration centering Vietnam’s interactions with Nyotalia ASEAN

An AmeBela illustration where Belarus interacts with Nyo!America

Some exceptions may be allowed on a case by case basis.

TLDR: You can draw Nyotalia women so long as they play a supporting role to one of the canon ladies.

☆ How many OCs will be allowed?

It depends on how many applications we receive! So long as they're a nation & aren't already canon to Hetalia, it's fair game. We want to see ladies from all over the globe!

☆ Why do you want more than one pitch?

We don't want to force people to make work they're disinterested in, but we also don't want there to be a disproportionate amount of material for one girl over another. As of right now, Hungary is in the most demand with 69.2% of responses, but Wy (34.6%) and Monaco (42.3%) have the least amount! We want to encourage more work for the more neglected ladies!

☆ Can I make more than one submission?

As of right now, yes! So long as everyone isn't doing more than one piece and if the contributor thinks they can handle two pieces during the time frame, we wanna see those HetaGirls!

More on this to come when acceptances roll out and we start working on pitches...

Got more questions? Submit them to our inbox!

Thank you all for the love and support you've shown the zine thus far!

[pekoeboo]

hey, this might sound really random but i couldn’t message you this and I hate using the message thing on da😭. But lately I’ve been considering using Ao3 but I don’t know anyone who actually used it before.

So I was wondering if you can tell me what it’s like? It’s it hard to use? Should there be things i should be wary of? I noticed the sites I used aren’t the best to post writing I figured might as well take a shot at this site😂

oh hey! no problem - I also don't like using the messaging on dA (also not really a fan of it here, tbh; hence why I've restricted it as much as possible kfjhdfg), so I feel ya on that, haha

oh gosh hmm... okay so my perspective on the site is going to be from someone who never reads fanfiction but only posts my own writing... so there's a whole other side to the conversation I can't even engage with here, unfortunately. but I do personally feel like AO3 is the best option right now for posting writing. however, it is considered an archive, not a social platform. so it does function a bit differently compared to other sites in how you're expected to use it.

they do have a lot of FAQ sections and guidelines to try and help out with understanding what and what not to do, but I tend to have a hard time retaining the info because it's A Lot so I have to rely on like. posts here on tumblr explaining stuff to me instead (checking the #AO3 tag might help? idk if there's a specific tag ppl use to share helpful info tho). the only thing I'm still unsure about is whether or not original content is actually allowed?? I've heard both yes and no and there IS a genre tag for original content so I'm just going forward with the idea that it's okay. for the most part though, the site is made to archive fan works, so you'll def be fine posting that sort of thing for sure.

I do think overall it's a very user-friendly site compared to others I've used when it comes to the UI and such ;o; everything is compartmentalized well and being able to customize the formatting is REALLY helpful and was also the main reason why I switched over from ffnet :'0 it's just... a bit overwhelming when it comes to tagging and organizing a piece of work within the guidelines. that's the biggest stress point for me, personally.

but yeah;; that's pretty much all I know. so sorry I can't be of much more help;;; if any of my followers have better tips on how the site works or have good "starting out" posts to recommend, I'd love for you to join the conversation to help out!!! ;0;

[shaanks]

there is a lot of really bad stuff and a lot of really weird stuff to think about in regards to the tiktok ban being upheld, and they're all worthwhile conversations to have, but there is also a small part of my brain that is like. going to find it really genuinely interesting to watch people who have become fluent in the rules of that particular app's algorithm like. learn how to talk again.

it genuinely feels like an emergent subdialect, the way people kind of fluidly and flawlessly self-censor in that format. usually if you're gonna say one word when you mean another, there's a pause, or a little wink and a nod, or a moment of looking sheepish as you say the word you know isn't correct, but a LOT of the people who regularly contribute to the creative/conversational space there don't do any of those things anymore. they say grape and pdf-file and unalived schmuishide and all of these silly, obnoxious self-censorship words because, for the most part, they learned that using actual serious terminology there would, at best, make it impossible to get their videos seen, and at worse get them suspended or banned.

and now all that conditioning is going to be made quickly obsolete, and they're going to be released back into creator spaces that, while still subject to their own algorithmic--or social--restrictions, are nothing like tiktok's reliance on babytalk and suggestive misspeak.

much like any other thing you started saying or doing ironically only to eventually back yourself into dialect acquisition, I think it's going to be hard for folks, to kind of break their mouths out of the bindings of tiktok's version of simlish.

[dicenete]

Gilbert's route done :0

Hmm... Finished Gilbert's route with Romantic ending + Epilogue. I have some thoughts. In general, I think Gilbert's route will share the Top 1 spot with Clavis's route from now on. The main part of the route was just * chef's kiss *. The Romantic ending started strong but I feel like it ended bit... flat?... well, I say that the biggest problem is really the format of this game and the restrictions it puts on the story. Next up either Keith, Yves or the surprise candidate Luke. Spoilers under the cut.

I felt bad for Yves. I feel like he was robbed of the character development in Gilbert's route. Like I would have loved the ending more if he would have been more active and brave. I even feel like MC didn't deserve the spotlight that much, maybe if Yves and MC would have worked together then yeah! He came all the way to Obsidian to get her! MC already had shown some initial bravery before she left to Obsidian, I think her ideals would have benefited more with having someone on her side. AND how impactful it would have been if Yves would have stood there with her! HE IS A PRINCE OF RHODOLITE! He is the OG pure heart really.

I feel bad for Luke too. I know, I know we gotta have that happy ending but still... Things ended way too well. I was hoping for more tragedy, but I know this isn't really the game to go there. Maybe it was more about the fact that we didn't really see any aftermath how they dealt with the anti-monarch faction. Do the princes ever really talk about the late king of Rhodolite at all? Like come to general consensus that he was a horrible person? Atleast the last scene with Jin and Luke was a start.

I think Gilbert's obsession with MC before the game's story was unnecessary because he could have just went there and try to corrupt Belle. Because that's what Belle is supposed to be. A someone with pure heart. He already knew that king of Rhodolite was dead. He knew MC was the Belle. (Not only the total chance of her to be the next belle? Unless he orchestrated that too? I don't really think so.) And to go there like "Hey, this might end up me being proved wrong or right. Let's give the humanity one more chance!" I think it would have been more impactful if Belle would be someone who is a total stranger to him.

Roderic and Walter were MVPs.

I named Gilbert's brothers according to Gilbert's and Albert's names: Robert, Rubert and Wilbert. You are welcome. ALSO: I'm kinda disappointed with the eyepatch. I lowkey wished that his other eye would have been blind or something else like that. Because it just doesn't make sense to me why would you even have an eyepatch on all the time for aesthetic reasons. The disadvantage it gives to you if someone say... suddenly tries to assassinate you? Or in fighting? One of your sides would be open for an attack. (Even if I admit, rule of cool is cool, but really...)

Overall I was happy about how dark Gilbert's route was. I enjoyed it a lot. He was as unhinged as I hoped he was. And many lovey dovey scenes had more impact because of the dark aspects of the story. I'm a firm believer of the quote: "For every laugh, there should be a tear." (Walt Disney). The brighter the light, the bigger the shadow.

[lmk-aus-galore]

Cinema Sins/Wins Rip Off of Lego Monkie Kid.

Yeah yeah I’m back folks, I just decided to take a looong break.

Inspired by @satansaidmyturnintheh3||scape

Rules:

-I won't be counting Animation Mistakes, because Idk how to do that, and I myself am a beginner animator (more like incredibly amateur, to the point I'm asking my sister for help) Unless of course the Animation is obviously and clearly having a mistake for me to watch.(Or it is said in the wiki) The other reason is because I don't want to keep repeating a scene just to check for an animation mistake.

-!This is mostly for entertainment purposes, sorry if I sound too mean!

-I also won't be counting flashbacks as 'mistakes' because most of them are based on bias.

-I'll be formatting it like this

-Neutral

-Sin

-Win

Let’s get started.

——————————————-

-Intro.

._.

-Love how you can see where Mei, Sandy and MK are in this scene.

-On the other hand why does Pigsy have a random game machine beside his shop? I know there are apartment buildings on top of said shop but in Season 2 he actively has authority to remove it.

-Secondly is MK currently on break at the moment or is he just, ‘slacking off’ judging by his clothes he should be currently working.

-Dragon Horse and Stone Monkey.

-Ah yes the underrated trio. Sandy, Mei and MK. Please tell me this group has a name.

-Bad time to call your daughter.

-The way Mei is so nervous to talk to her mother and the way she talks as if her mother doesn’t even give her enough time to explain, like I think Mei’s Mother is cutting her off at times here and it’s not really okay. It feels like Mei is talking to her boss than her Mom.

-Sandy for the win.

-The finishing move is a spin of the staff and a hit to the leg…wow MK.

-I really love how Sandy is just casually friends with these guys. Like these guys just met Sandy a few weeks ago and all of a sudden they said ‘Let’s be friends’

-Ok MK you should really get social cues…or at least let Mei get a word in-

-‘I always wanted to see Mei’s secret Dragon House full of secret Dragon stuff’ makes me wonder why no one believes in the Monkey King stories. Either that or why Mei isn’t being worshipped like a deity by now.

-Also MK, kinda creepy…but to be fair Mei put cameras on all of you…

-BRO THIS BULL CLONE HAS EVERYTHING ON HER?!

-Why does this Bull Clone pull out the same Two Pictures twice?

-Mei doesn’t smile in her photo, along with the rest of her family :(

-In fact she looks kinda restricted.

-Also Key detail, looks like Mei’s little green hair things are dyed!

-PIF confirms that Sha Wujing’s spear and Zhu Bajie’s rake are Celestial Weapons that later tie into Season 4

-We also have the Calabash, PIF’s fan, Wukong’s staff, Nezha’s spear and two of the Samadhi Fire Rings…though I think by this time of development this probably is Nezha’s little ring thingys in his shoes? Not really sure. The only one we don’t know about is the unidentified sword and the random rope.

-Also is she implying that her own fan is a powerful artifact? I guess that makes sense…?

-Why does PIF’s animation always stretch her or squish her I can’t take her seriously XD worse that it’s usually the face.

-Mei wanting to be a normal child is so sad. On the other hand why don’t we have more fanfics of Mei and her family dynamic? Come on people the angst is right there!

-When you think about it, the High-Tech security might’ve been the reason Mei became the ‘Tech Girl’ in the group. Since her family dabbles in High-Technology it’s only obvious she grew curious of that stuff.

-On the other note, what’s with Ancient families and suddenly getting a grasp at handling High-Technology? Like bro Red Son and Mei have so many parallels to each other it’s insane.

-MEI THIS IS WHY YOU DONT LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN.

-You know Red Son you might need to double down in calling Mei a peasant because uhh…wow, the place is huge.

-Mei’s room doesn’t have a door, which shows how shitty these people actually are.

-Also Mei has a lot of rock aesthetic posters, including one with a spider meaning Mei canonically had a rock phase. That or a goth phase so goth Mei is probably canon.

-Why I thought of rock is because of the two sets of guitars she has, one being an electric guitar.

-Mei also has a skateboard indicating she used to skate.

-She has an indoor TV with two game controllers (Why didn’t they just play in her bedroom?)

-And finally she has some things I think her parents would’ve given her such has the pony statue and the meditation carpet on the floor.

-Also apparently she plays the piano? Or is that even a piano?

-The legend of Mei’s sword is kinda cool actually.

-WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO TOUCH IT?! HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO GETS TO WEILD IT THEN?!

-I have a feeling I know why no one has been able to hold that sword in like…ever (They all look so mean)

-‘You two boot up the old TV!’ What TV? There is literally no TV there? Is there a TV off-screen? Even so where would you put said TV? And again, why not your room?

-MK control your strength- how the hell does that even happen?

-Bull Clone literally just yeeted his hat at him.

-Said Bull Clone took the precious Dragon Sword despite the fact that he was struggling to get it off the statue

-Mei calls her Motorcycle like a horse, get it? Dragon Horse?

-Okay now I don’t blame MK I think that pinball machine is old. BECAUSE HOW DOES THAT JUST HAPPEN?!

-Mei this house should at LEAST take up a whole acre, HOW BIG IS YOUR HOUSE?!

-Mei fixing her bike is while she is chasing the Bull Clone is badass as hell. We do not talk about her enough.

-Pro tip: Never mess with Mei.

-This is why we need to give this family some doubt, okay if literally all her ancestors are dissing her and insulting her to her face because of the way she acts then maybe you shouldn’t turn a blind eye.

-‘You know what I am part of this family! I am Mei! Descendant of the Great Dragon of the West Sea, this is mine! And this is my House!” You go girl, show these guys a what you’re made of!

-A very good take on Mei accepting who she is despite her family’s expectations on her. She’s part of the family but she knows that she needs to stand up for herself. Good bravo.

-IS IT JUST ME OR IS THAT THING BIGGER THAN NORMAL?!

-I wonder what the parents’ reaction was, Holy cow this might’ve been QUITE the sight.

-Yep that Bull Clone is straight up dead.

-MK I think that machine is really just old.

-Lol, Sandy making sure MK doesn’t lose focus.

-‘Somebody forgot our luggage’ then she stares directly at the dad and said dad doesn’t give a damn.

-The fact that Mei has to apologize first before getting praised is messed up as hell. If someone is trying to steal a really powerful relic such as that, then obviously it’s gonna be chaos, but the fact she has to apologize first before they acknowledge she did something good is messed up.

-But to be fair I think they do love Mei, really, but the way they parent just icks me.

-And Mei’s mom sounds like she pulled that whole talk out from google.

-Mei’s dad sounds…familiar hold up-

-KNEW I HEARD THAT VOICE SOMEWHERE. (Also apparently Mei’s mom is the same VA as Mei, so Stephanie Steph is just talking to herself)

-Poor MK…

[sciderman]

I won't lie, there's a centrain magic to reading comics, maybe it's because you have more control over the direction, speed, voices and music when reading over watching something, maybe it's how creative people can get with panel lay-outs, maybe it's all of those things along with the different art styles and way people express themselves through their comic runs, maybe it's the fact there's SO many of them and so many different runs, AUs, versions, solo-stories and characters that while not every comics is for everyone, there's A comics for everyone.

And it's something that only animation can come close to capturing, occasionaly some games because they can give us amazing set pieces and action and stylization through gameplay. But to me live action movies just miss the mark exept a few and even then i just enjoy the comics more.

I think one big thing for me is the narration, because it helps me relate to characters as someone who's thoughts are pretty loud and narration-like, and the fact it's ME who decides how i make the characters sound and talk rather than having to listen to someone else voice the character in a way that i feel isn't "right".

So i'd say personaly it's comics>>books (i like books, and i LOVE fanfics but the visual part stimulates my brain more) >>>animation>games>live action

i agree wholeheartedly! i don't know, i'm kind of in love with the comic medium. but i love writing, also. i just - i really don't like the passivity of animation and television - i need a lot more stimulation than that to get my brain working. i like all the brain work you have to do when you're reading words. and i love the challenge of pulling off "comedic timing" when you don't actually HAVE the dimension of time in your medium exactly - so you have to work with panelling, and you have to work with spacing in your writing - and it's just so sexy and more active for the brain. like you're inventing a language.

comedy writing in comics is so, so fulfilling because you're a comedian, but your format is visual. you need to rely on visual language to carry it. and jokes are all about expectation and subversion and timing. a joke can fall so flat if that timing is off. and - i don't know, i'm obsessed with comics, as if they're some kind of form of visual poetry. it's taken for granted, i think. it's taken for granted.

i think you become more restricted the more dimensions you introduce - so - writing is entirely free. you can do WHATEVER you want, all by yourself, without needing to rely on the quality of your art software or the actors you have at your disposal or anything - you can conjure any visual you like. comics - more challenging, you're limited by your artistic ability but again - you're not restricted by voice cast - god, i love being able to conjure any voice at all in my head for the boys. i think if i was restricted by voice actors i'd have to write them differently, et cetera et cetera... i'd be dealing with VAs and saying "actually. your delivery is all wrong. i have to rewrite the joke." - i'm so particular about these things, you have no idea.

i remember the first time i watched the deadpool movie after having read the original script over and over YEARS prior and having heard it play out in my head in the most hilarious of ways and then. hearing ryan's delivery of those jokes and thinking "oh. it's not that funny actually."

sorry ryan. it might've been funnier if i hadn't read the script already and hadn't already had the movie play out in my brain way funnier than how you did it. sorry. my brain is a better cinema.

something i also love about print vs film - i've had this problem with a lot of adaptations - i despise film adaptations of books i love, just because - something is so sullied about having so many hands in the pot. actors. camera men. producers. directors. all these people - when - what i loved about the book was feeling close to the author. it's just me and him. we're together, intimately. and all of that intimacy gets lost when you know there's a huge film crew behind it.

kind of weird. i love reading a book and just, giggling over the pages, like it's a joke between me and the author. i don't know, i'm a weird little saddo who craves intimacy. so i like the intimacy of it being a one-man show. i love things where i can feel close to the creator. i hope that's why people like my things too. and it's why i like my things. i sometimes think "ouugh. why can't i work for marvel" but i think about how - i'm lucky i get to create what i want to create without having to compromise or answer to editorial. and what i create can always be unapologetically me. and that means more. that means so much more.